On Writing and Stalking

So I've been pretty MIA lately. This is mostly due to the fact that somehow I've become insanely busy added with the fact that I'm just exhausted all of the time. Literally. If I stop going I fall asleep. So I try not to stop going.

Anyway, right now it's all exacerbated by the fact that I have to get this personal statement for my PhD applications done. Now. Like yesterday. Well, not really. I just need a good enough draft to send to my potential recommenders. And THAT needs to be done now. Like yesterday.

I hate writing about myself in any serious manner. This blog isn't serious. I don't generally reveal anything that means that much to me. But in a personal statement you're basically revealing your deepest passion. Like, this is what you want to do. What you feel so strongly about that you are willing to dedicate your life to it. That's hard and scary to write about. I keep imagining readers rolling their eyes. Eep!

It's times like these when I become a facebook stalker. I do this when I'm feeling down as well, which is bad because it just makes me feel more depressed for wasting my time in such a worthless and neurotic way. It's sort of disturbing. I seriously stalk people I don't even know or care about. I will go on someone's page and look at their pictures, and then I'm like "huh who's that" and soon enough I'm 8 degrees of Kevin Bacon away and knee deep in some random person's profile and I have no idea why, nor do I really want to be. And then I have to go to my own profile and stalk myself. I sit there and wonder what my perception of myself would be if I didn't know me and I was looking at my profile. And then I realize how neurotic I am and I log off.

I seriously shouldn't be allowed on facebook when I'm a) feeling depressed or b) trying to write something that is difficult for me. Does anyone else do this? No? Just me? Ok...therapy time...Just kidding. Sorta!

Anyway, I don't know why I just felt the need to blog about that. Maybe so I shame myself out of doing it again?

Or maybe I'm just avoiding this damn paper. BAH!

Back to it.