Boo!

I've been pretty crappy at keeping up this blog so far in 2012. This is due partly to the fact that my camera is currently broken and I am simultaneously too busy and lazy to go take it in and get it fixed. That and I just take forever to do some things, it seems.

But that's not the real reason. I have a phone. I could easily be taking pictures on it, I just haven't been. I guess I don't really know why. I guess I just don't feel very creative with the pictures right now. Maybe it's just because my focus has shifted and I pretty much hurry to the gym after work and then home most days. I just don't feel like I have time to slow down and look at the world that much. But I should. And then when I get home I'm so exhausted all I want to do is watch mindless TV.

And I hate that my automatic MO when I get home is to plop on the couch and watch the boob tube. And almost always fall asleep in front of it and completely waste what's left of my evening (which to be fair isn't much. I usually don't get home until after 8pm these days, but still...). I have so many unfinished projects. I haven't been writing in my notebook. I haven't been cooking or trying new recipes. I haven't been doing anything besides eat, sleep, work, box, repeat.

Don't get me wrong. I love the boxing, which is a big part of this. I feel best when I'm at the boxing gym hitting a bag or a person or sweating my ass off in a training session.

But still...

I feel a little bit unbalanced.

And I miss my friends and family. I feel like I barely have time to keep up with the people who mean the most to me. I feel like I barely know what's going on in peoples' lives.

Of course I'm also very tired right now so I could be exaggerating things in my mind (and likely am). But still...I think these are important feelings/irkings to pay attention to: how to remain focused and balanced at the same time.

On the brighter side, I have a job interview next week which I'm really really excited about. This is my 2nd interview and I am praying and hoping and BEGGING the gods that I get this job. With PhD prospects looking pretty unattainable (which is ok, really) I seriously HAVE to get out of my current job. It's not a healthy environment and I just am ready to do something more meaningful with my life. Way past ready, that is.

I'm also taking a couple of classes this spring because a) I need to defer my student loans again... :-/ and b) because I really wanted to take this genealogy research class so this was a good excuse to sign up for it! :) So tonight instead of sitting in front of the TV I'm working on the assignments and the reading. It's sort of refreshing!

Maybe I'll try to make a new year's resolution here and now on February 7th to not turn on the TV when I get home until I've done something fulfilling and creative. That could be writing in my notebook, cooking something healthy and delicious, working on a project, reading for a while, or just calling a friend or family member and finding out how they're doing. Aaah, finally. A resolution I feel positive about. I haven't made any this year up until this point because with how insane last year was and how none of it turned out how I'd have expected (which is not to say it turned out poorly at all!) I sort of feel like, "screw it, let's just see what happens. bring it on I'm ready!" hahaha. But this is a good one I think. I hate myself when I watch TV for 2 hours a night. I feel like a big fat lazy slob, and I can feel my brain oozing out my ears and dripping irretrievably onto the floor.

I need to go hiking.

End!