Souffle

2-4-11

So I actually took this yesterday, and I was going to post it yesterday thinking I wouldn't find anything to take a picture of for the This American Life project. But then I did take a picture for that project (which I like way more than the first pic I took - and I posted it to the group). Can I just say - tangent... 

...I was super nervous posting it? Like, literally my heart rate went up. Everyone else's pictures were so beautiful, and well composed and seemed so deep. I had flashbacks to writing workshops when everyone would write these interesting or philosophical stories and I'd just write something ridiculous or funny and would feel inferior because I couldn't write anything with real depth. It's not that I don't have deep thoughts (like Jack Handy), I just get ridiculously uncomfortable when I have to express my feelings or thoughts (to any degree) to people I don't already deeply trust, respect, and love. So I get uncomfortable often, and then I just make up something silly, sarcastic, or try to make the other person laugh so they'll forget whatever topic was at hand.  So this uncomfortable feeling I get whenever I am putting myself out there at ALL was rising up and I thought to myself as I uploaded my picture "What am I doing?! These people are amazing. Should I put a warning that I am not what anyone would call a photographer, even an amateur one, and that I just wanted to try something new? Maybe I should say, 'This is just a stupid cereal box, I know it's dumb. Sorry!'" But I didn't. I just posted the picture and reminded myself that I have a valid perspective and viewpoint too, even if it might seem silly. And trying to express or capture or develop one's viewpoint is what is important. Not comparing oneself to others - that can only paralyze you. Yeah. Anyway, all that to say: Yay I posted it! It was scary! One small step forward in not worrying about comparing myself to others AND exercising some creative-ness.

Uh...what was this blog post supposed to be about? Oh. Right. Souffle. Look everyone! I made a souffle! I've sort of been subsisting on...well...crackers, apples and cheese for the last couple of weeks and decided I needed to start cooking again and NOT let the veggies that come in our veggie box go bad. So I had a squash, and a recipe, and bam there you go. It took me 3 hours. But it turned out delicious. The end.