The Countdown is ON

3-9-11

I'm sure you've heard, or at least seen the billboards  (they're all over the place here in CA - has anyone seen them elsewhere?), declaring that the world is going to end on May 21, 2011. I checked out the radio station that's on the billboards a few weeks back and was only a little bit shocked when I realized that it was this guy who was preaching this. Seriously, watch the video of him. I dare you to see how long you can stand him. I swear to god that man is older than sin. I found myself watching him in my grad school days on TBN late at night when I was supposed to be working on my thesis, but I needed something to distract me from the fact that I felt like my writing was nothing more than pointless drivel and that really I had no idea wtf I was talking about. He's almost too painful to watch for more than 5 minutes or so, though. I don't even know how he's still alive. I think there are dark arts at work here. There is more to that man that meets the eye. Maybe he's actually an alien and on May 21st he's going to peel off his skin like a human suit and pull out his alien laser gun and blast us all away. That would actually be kinda sweet. Except, you know, for the whole blasting us away bit.

 Anyway, I'd sort of forgotten about all of this end of the world business since I've been rather distracted with things ending in my own personal world. Which obviously takes precedence over the rest of the world! Until I saw this guy when I was waiting to catch the bus to go try on more bridesmaid dresses during my lunch hour (I make my plea now:  Please. For the love of all things holy and sacred no one else get married this summer). I thought briefly "huh, I wonder if that has to do with the end of the world in May or whatever" and then went back to reading my book and cursing my family and friends for being disgustingly in love and forcing me to share in their joy.*

 Then I spotted him again on the edge of Cal's campus as I walked back to work, and it hit me. Seeing it in black and white like that really drives it home y'know? Only 73 days left. Why am I even wasting time trying to fight insomnia!??! I need to live it up! Paint the town! Eat and drink my weight in pizza and beer! Time's a runnin' out! As such, for Lent, which I never have "celebrated" ... is that the word you use? Celebrate? Meh, it is now... which I have never celebrated before in my life, I have decided to give up giving things up. Nothing shall be off limits to me! The world holds no rules or laws! Physics gots nothin' on me! The world is my matrix and I am Neo! I shall reach my hand into the cookie jar of life and scarf down every single cookie!

Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaahahahahah! 

You know what? I think I need more sleep...

*Actually, I'm only saying this for dramatic effect because I think it makes my blogging more entertaining and funny. In reality, I'm ridiculously happy for you all, and beyond excited to go to and be in your weddings!!! Par-TY! :)